About Lydia Carbone

FIRST: THE TOUCHY -FEELY PART

It feels like throughout much of my life I have been intrigued with creating more peace and calm in my world (and if only I had been born a decade earlier, I would have come of age in the throes of 1960’s Peace Movement – that romanticized and tumultuous time in US history!) 

The realization I had while doing my graduate studies in social work, that my role in my first generation American boisterous Italian family of origin would be classified as “the peace maker” gives credence to that feeling. A bit of irony here, is that at this point in time I would change that title from “peace maker” to “conflict avoider.”  A title I no longer hold today.

 In recent years I have delved into the study and practice of conflict resolution through formal training, introspection, mentorships, mediation practice, workshop development and delivery, and mindfulness in my own life. Through that continuing process of education and practice, I have come to embrace that peace in my life doesn’t come from avoiding conflict (staying quiet, not rocking the boat, etc.), but instead from having the desire and tools to navigate through it. And by navigating I mean listening and seeking to understand different points of view, letting go of a mindset of “I have to be right” or “I have to win” or “There is only one way to do this.”  When we approach conflict with an openness to creating mutually beneficial outcomes we can let go of the sense that avoidance is the way to peace.

 And guess what?  It’s working!

At the core of my being are the following beliefs:

  • We humans are more alike than we are different (although sometimes it takes a lot of digging to find those commonalities).

  • “Othering” is one of the most destructive forces on our planet (including when we “other” ourselves).

  • Each of us is genuinely doing the best we can in any given moment (even when what we are doing doesn’t meet others’ needs, somewhere in there it is meeting a need we ourself have).

  • While going through the process of finding a win-win may seem like a lot of work, the ultimate result is a zillion times more sustainable than a solo win.

Does this mean I sail through life scattering rose petals and evoking smiles from everyone I meet?  Hardly. Just ask my partner….. or, um, maybe not. :)

HOWEVER, I have more calm in my workplace, in my social circles, in my home with my partner, and most importantly with myself – my body, my heart, my head. And the good news is – although there have been countless studies conducted and papers written about this topic – it isn’t rocket science (something my brain is not wired for – and thankfully other people’s are!) But it does take knowledge and practice and embracing a mindset. And sometimes engaging the help of a 3rd party is needed.

 NOW: THE CONCRETE CREDENTIALS

For those folks who may be thinking that all sounds well and good, but what about qualifications?? – this section is for you!

Social Work

MSW – Rutgers University 1986 BSW – Kean University 1983 Working in non-profit human service organizations, primarily in the family service arena, since 1984.

Mediation

Training – initial training 2019 and continued on-going specialized training ever since. Practicing 2019 – Present Areas of practice include divorce, parenting planning, permanency planning for children in out of home placements; landlord-tenant; small claims.

Massage Practitioner

Nationally Certified Massage Therapist, 2004-2014 While no longer operating my small practice, this experience has contributed to my understanding of the mind-body-emotional connections we humans possess.

Workshop Leader and Trainer

Leader of Personal Growth Workshops, 2011-present Leading and co-leading personal growth workshops under the umbrella of various organizations as well as independently; topics have included Creating More Love in Your Life, Intimate Puja Circles, Reawakening Your Heart, Human Connections, Embodied Self-Care, relationship support groups.

Leader of Professional Development Trainings, 2017- present Leading and co-leading as a representative of various organizations as well as independently; topics have included Intensive Experiential 5-day Parenting Group Facilitation Training, workplace team building, conflict resolution, working with immigrant families, workplace self-care.